FMA Orders of the Sentry and Special Edward Jodie
by Reanna-Kris-Katelyn
Summary: As a Former Dog of the Military myself, i figure it's high time the FMA military gets it's own set of crazy rules to go along with it's crazy antics. Warning: readers may have to shove fist in mouth to keep from laughing!
1. Ed's Orders

FMA Orders of the sentry:

1) Take charge of the district and all government property in view, unless it's mustangs.

2) Walk my post in a military manner untill a Hamunculis shows up.

3) Report all violations, unless they involve you.

4) Repeat ALL important calls unless they are from Lt. Col. Hughes about his cute daughter.

5) Quit my post only if my siblings at stake.

6) Act buisy so commanding officer thinks your working.

7) Interrogate those who look suspicious, this includes Higher-Ups.

8) Sound alarm in case of Hamunculis attack. (Or if Bored)

9) Follow instructions ONLY if they involve the philosiphers stone.

10) Salute with left hand, only if right is made of automail.

11) Be watchful at all times, you never know when Major Armstrong's shirt will rip.

FMA Jodie sing it like you were Edward!

Ed: Every where we go...

Al: people wanna know!

Ed: Who I am...

Al: So he tells them!

Ed: I ain't a shorty,

Al: a little tiny shorty!

Ed: I ain't a Midget,

Al: a Half Ass Midget!

Ed: I ain't a small fry,

Al: They don't even try!

Ed: I AM AN ALCHEMIST!

Al: A MIGHTY MIGHTY ALCHEMIST!

Ed: MUSTANG SUCKS!

Al: HORAHH!


	2. Roy's Orders

Me: I'm Bored

Mustang: Where's my Jodie? Where's my Orders?

Me: How the dickens should I know…

Mustang: Because you'll type them…

Me: Naw, yeh think stupid!

Mustang: I'm not stupid…. STTTTUUUPPPIIIIDDDDDDD!!!!

Me: And I'm wondering who the 29-year-old Really is…

Roy's Orders of the Sentry

Warning: Laughter will ensue… you have been warned…

1) Take charge of the district and all government property in view, unless it has to do with Ed… then it's all his.

2) Walk my post in a military manner until the Fuehrer walks in, then blame Ed for the crack hidden in desk drawer.

3) Report all violations, unless they involve a plot to over throw the military… did I say that out loud?

4) Do not repeat "important" calls, even if they are from Lt. Col. Hughes about his cute daughter.

5) Quit my post only if it's time for a date.

6) Act busy so commanding officer thinks your working.

7) Interrogate those who look suspicious, this includes Higher-Ups.

8) Sound alarm if Hawkeye gets angry, or if she's PMSing.

9) Follow instructions ONLY if they involve the "Miniskirt Conspiracy".

10) Salute with sarcasm, it's effective!

11) Be watchful at all times, you never know when Hawkeye will wear a skirt.

Me: No Jodie…

Mustang: WHAT?!

Me: You don't deserve one…

Mustang: WHY?!

Me: Because… Grins evilly your orders are making my reviewers die in laughter…

Mustang: Blank look I… am?

Me: Yep…

Mustang: NO GOD WHY? WHYYYYYY?!

Wellllll…. This concludes this piece… I'll think of some more… god I know I had some CC ons some where… and some for FMP: TSR… oh well… I'll find them when I find my ROTC handbook… Yosh!

Rena!


	3. Maes' Orders

Me: Wull… I love doing Orders of the Sentry… so here's some for Hughes…

Hughes: YAY!!

Everyone Else: Yay…

1) Take charge of the district and all government property in view, until some hapless person comes along and I get to show pictures of my awesome wife and terribly cute daughter!

2) Walk my post in a military manner until my wife comes with my lunch, then I sit and eat it with her, my subbies gaging because they don't know how good it is to be in love!

3) Report all violations, unless they involve a plot to over throw the military… did I say that out loud?

4) Do not repeat "important" calls, Just ones from me, Lt. Col. Hughes, about my cute daughter.

5) Quit my post only if it's time for my daughter's bed time.

6) talk on the phone as much as possible, bragging must ensue after all.

7) Interrogate those who look suspicious, this includes Higher-Ups.

8) Sound alarm if Roy gets angry, or if he's drunk.

9) Follow instructions ONLY if they involve Elicia's birthday.

10) Salute with sarcasm, it's effective!

11) Be watchful at all times, you never know when my daughter's future boyfriend will turn up.

Me: I think I've died…

Hughes: **ROTFLAO** OMG! That's funny!!!

Me: I know… all in a day's work!

Everyone else: **Dies laughing** WAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!


	4. Riza's Orders

Me: If I keep going I'm going to die of laughter…

Roy: I thought you did already…

Me: PFFFTTTT! No! I'm not dead YET!

Any ways… Readers: I warn thee, the hallariousness that follows shall be hallarious beyond all belief… thou hast been warned…

1) Take charge of the district and all government property in view, unless it has to do with Roy, then give him paperwork.

2) Walk my post in a military manner until black Hayate needs to use the bathroom… then take him to Roy's office to do his doggy business.

3) Report all violations, unless they involve Roy… AND a plot to over throw the military… I did NOT just say that out loud…

4) Do not repeat "important" calls, even if they are from Lt. Col. Hughes about his cute daughter. NEVER REPEAT THESE CALLS, Even if they involve Hughes driving you slowly insane.

5) Quit my post only if it's time for target practice.

6) Act busy so commanding officer thinks your working.

7) Interrogate those who look suspicious, this includes Higher-Ups.

8) Sound alarm if Roy is being lazy, or if he's accusing you of PMSing.

9) Follow instructions ONLY if they involve the "Protection of the one you swore to protect".

10) Salute with sarcasm, it's effective!

11) Be watchful at all times, you never know when it will be the perfect time to shoot Roy in the face.

And so concludes my creativity for today… I NEED MORE IDEAS!!! **Goes to a dark corner and sulks in a deep depression**


	5. Izumi's Orders

Me: Well…. Here's Izumi's!

Ed: OMG!

Al: **Giggles sheepishly**

Kaylee: Oh-no…

Warning! It's funny! I don't want anyone to die in laughter!

Izumi's Orders of the sentry:

1. I will never transmute a human, because I will create a homunculus.

2. I will smack my students in the head, only if they fail to figure out "All is one, One is all."

3. I will not salute higher-ups, they're all just promotion hungry, greedy, bastards anyway…

4. I shall try to kill any student that tries to transmute a human, Edward and Alphonse included.

Me: Short yet entertaining…

Ed: LOL!

Al: O.O…

Kaylee: OMFG!!!


End file.
